People are idiots and I hate them.

For Christmas, my aunt got me tickets to see Ed Sheeran here in Shanghai. I was excited. I saw Ed four or five years ago in a small bar in Reading, England. He was fantastic, so to be seeing him again was something my friends and I were looking forward to. (Even if his second album kind of... dare I say it... sucked.)

We arrived at the Mercedez Benz arena on Saturday and were shown to our seats, which weren’t cheap by the way. We were in the floor seating section and pretty close to the stage so were very happy little bunnies.

A few minutes after we sat down, out walked the man himself. Great, we thought, what a view!

What naïve fools we were.

We started bopping around and having a gay old time, when suddenly, darkness descended.

Why? Because the 200 people in front of me had decided it would be a fucking brilliant idea to stand on their chairs. Correction, one person thought it would be a fucking brilliant idea, and everyone after that was forced to do the same so that they could see.

What were we supposed to do? Stand on our chairs as well and become one of the inconsiderate dicks that I was literally screaming at? Or stand on the ground and not see a flippin’ thing?

With our hearts heavy, and our beers in very real danger, we stood on our chairs, much to the dismay of the people behind us.

‘Sit down! Zuo xia!’

I swang around and looked deep into the eyes of the man who had dared tell me what to do. ‘There’s a million people in front of me buddy. What do you want me to do here?’

Blah blah, this continued. I yelled at the girls in front of me, and made them yell at the people in front of them, hoping it would have some kind of inversed Mexican wave effect, but after 3 rows of people co-operating, it died a death and then nobody knew what the hell to do and just shuffled around awkwardly, half sitting, half standing, effectively squatting.

In the end, we went and stood in the aisle. We still couldn't see anything, but at least we could move around a bit. Not that I was in the mood for dancing at this point. Then the guard came over and kettled us in because we'd become a fire hazard. We tried to point out that hundreds of people teetering on foldaway chairs should probably have been higher up on their list of concerns, but of course, it fell on deaf ears.

Although Ed performed wonderfully – he’s a bloody talented young man after all – I have to say that the show was a pretty big disappointment because of the one inconsiderate ASSHOLE that initiated chair-gate 2015.

An open letter to that asshole:

Dear Asshole,

I hate you.

I hate you with the fire of a thousand suns.

I hate everything you are, and everything you will inevitably be for the rest of your, hopefully lonely, existence.

Do you treat everything in life like an Ed Sheeran concert? Standing in people’s way willy-nilly, whenever you please with no regard for anyone else’s feelings? I think you probably do. In which case, your parents did a terrible job raising you.

You are one person, and you managed to ruin an entire concert for a lot of people. Your selfish actions caused unnecessary stress, anger and much disappointment. I hope you’re happy.

I also hope you rot in hell.


Everyone you have ever come into contact with.